Meta-Emotion
Meta-Emotion
Meta-emotion is the feeling you have about your own feelings. For example, feeling guilty about being angry, or feeling ashamed of your sadness, are both meta-emotions.
Details
What Is Meta-Emotion?
Meta-emotion refers to a secondary emotional response you have toward your own emotions. Let's explore this fascinating phenomenon of the mind together with Mindy.
Examples of Meta-Emotion
Meta-emotions are incredibly common in everyday life. Feeling guilty when you get angry, thinking 'I shouldn't be losing my temper,' or feeling anxious because you can't feel happy in a situation where you think you should — these are classic examples. Feeling shame when you're sad, telling yourself 'I'm such a weak person,' is also a meta-emotion.
John Gottman's Meta-Emotion Theory
Psychologist John Gottman developed the concept of meta-emotion through his research on parent-child relationships. He found that how parents respond to their children's negative emotions significantly shapes the child's ability to regulate emotions. Emotion-coaching parents accept and guide their child's feelings, while emotion-dismissing parents try to quickly eliminate negative emotions.
How Meta-Emotion Affects Mental Health
Meta-emotions can cause even greater distress than the original emotion itself. Feeling anxious is a natural experience, but when you criticize yourself for being anxious, the suffering doubles. This is sometimes called the double suffering of emotions.
A Warm Word from Mindy
All emotions are natural. When you notice yourself feeling something about a feeling, pause for a moment and say to yourself, 'It's okay to feel what I'm feeling right now.' Mindy is here to warmly embrace every single emotion you experience.
💡 Real-Life Example
Feeling jealous when you hear about a friend's promotion, and then feeling guilty about that jealousy, is a classic example of meta-emotion.
This content is for educational purposes and does not replace professional medical diagnosis.