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Limerence

Limerence

Limerence is a state of intense, overwhelming romantic obsession with a specific person. Thoughts of them never leave your mind, and you experience extreme emotional highs and lows depending on how they respond to you.

Details

What is Limerence?

Limerence is a concept proposed by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979, describing a state of intense, involuntary romantic obsession with a specific person. It is different from simple attraction or love — it is an emotional state that borders on addiction.

Characteristics of Limerence

Someone experiencing limerence may notice:

  • Constant, intrusive thoughts about the person throughout the day
  • Extreme euphoria from small signs of their interest, and deep despair from their indifference
  • Overanalyzing the person's words and actions, searching for hidden meaning
  • A tendency to idealize the person and ignore their flaws
  • Physical symptoms: racing heart, changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping

    • Limerence vs. Love

    Limerence feels like love, but there are important differences:

  • Love: You accept the person as they are and genuinely want their happiness
  • Limerence: You seek emotional rewards from the person, and your feelings are entirely controlled by their reactions

    • Limerence typically lasts 3 months to 3 years, and often either develops into a mutual relationship or fades naturally over time.

    Understanding Limerence with Mindy

    Mindy wants you to know that limerence is not a flawed emotion — it is an intense experience created by your brain's reward system. However, being completely swept away by it can make daily life very difficult.

    If you are experiencing limerence, try not to judge the feeling — instead, observe it. Simply recognizing 'I notice I am fixating on this person right now' can help reduce the intensity of the emotion.

    💡 Real-Life Example

    Checking someone's social media dozens of times a day, spending over an hour agonizing over whether to send them a message, and deliberately going to places where you might run into them by chance — these are all signs of limerence.

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    This content is for educational purposes and does not replace professional medical diagnosis.

    Limerence (Limerence) | 마음스캔 심리학 용어사전